Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Boobs and Bladders and How to Roast Them

{PRELUDE:  You know the other day I said that Blogger lost my post?  They found it again.  Remember what I said about it being the funniest thing you've ever read and how it was Pulitzer Prize worthy?  Yeah....not so much after all.  But here it is, anyway!}

The other day NPR posted a story about a new book written about the "Little House" books.  It reminded me of reading all of them as a child.

Have you read the Little House books?  When I was young, they looked like this.
I read every single one time after time after time.  Maybe since I grew up smack dab in the middle of a city, reading about farming and making balloons out of pig bladders and roasting the butchered pigs tail was more fascinating to me.  Maybe kids who grew up on farms made pig bladder balloons, and roasted pig's tails all the time.  Maybe I was missing out by playing with store-bought balloons and only being able to roast hot dogs and marshmallows, which was usually over the flame of the gas stove.  How pioneering of me. 

So, maybe you haven't read the books.  Maybe you watched the television series.
The television series wasn't really that much like the books.

Melissa Gilbert played Laura. This is her as a little rabbit-toothed, freckled-faced prairie girl.
Awww...how sweet.  She even looked a little like the real Laura Ingalls, except the real Laura looks a little pissed in this photo. 
In fact, she kind of scares me.  

But here's a picture of the fake Laura as an adult trollop who likes showing off her boobies.
Holy Visible Areola, Prairie Girl!  Pa would not approve.  

I'm all for showing a little boobage, but leave something to the imagination. If I wore something like this, I'd be scared that my boob would flop out at the most inopportune time.

I'm sure this post was initially supposed to have a point, but I'll be damned if I know what it was.  Seriously, I've gotten side-tracked so many times while trying to find Little House pics that I really don't know what I started to say.  But I'm sure it was profound and life-changing.

I guess the only thing to take from this post is to not show too much booby, and the next time your kids complain about being bored, go to the butcher and buy some pig bladders for them to bat around.

Be happy,
Rachel

2 comments:

  1. oh, the laughter is rich and sweet. i too was fascinated by the pig bladder baloon. and if the writers had any sense they would have included this in the tv series. what a shame. i'm glad this post was found - but now thanks to you i'm going to be rooting around in my storage area looking for that box of little house books. my appetite has been whetted, but not for roasted pig tails. it's for some of that bread that they made by grounding grain in the coffee mill one tablespoon at a time. them ingalls were one hell of a tough tribe. still love them. every word.

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  2. We had to read the books in elementary school, and the teacher brought in a football to represent the pigs bladder. Yeah, I'm not quite sure what that was about, but every year for like three or four years we made these awesomepants log cabins out of pretzel rods. :3 That's like my second favorite elementary school memory aside from losing a caterpillar and it turning up inside the teacher's desk the next day.

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