So far on our adventure, Eric and I had managed to fend off a ferocious ringneck snake and we had eluded jawbone-wielding murderers and ravenous bears.
However, we still hadn't found anything that was really photo worthy. Except for this next picture, maybe.
Just so you know, flip flops + wet rocks = disaster.
Okay, maybe not disaster. Maybe just a wet backside. Like this one. This quite healthy one that would probably look pretty darn tasty to a hungry bear. There's a lot of butt meat there.
But I did manage to save the camera from hitting the rocks when I hit the rocks. So there's that.
Have I mentioned that the day I picked to go gallivanting around getting nature all over me was the hottest day this year? It was 87 degrees, which is too hot to be traipsing through nature in flip flops while fending off things that want to eat/torture/maim me.
But I found some may apples.
And some pretty purple flowers.
And some pretty yellow flowers.
And this completely unnecessary sign, because there's no way any type of motorized vehicle could make it through this trail.
And, finally, after what seemed like days we reached Valhalla, Nirvana, Shangri la, THE FALLS!
Trust me. I know.
I endangered my life. Several times. I got lost. I peed in an outhouse. I braved Madison County. I relived the "squeal like a pig" scene from Deliverance over and over in my head. I fell on my ass. I got sore feet. I PERSPIRED!
For something less than stellar. I'm sure now that the trees have some leaves, it's a much prettier place. But there's no way in hell I'm going back to check for myself.
So after trying to take photos that would make this craphole look less crapholish, I had to walk all the way back to the car. On pointy rocks. In flip flops.
Somehow the way back was 4 times as long as the way in. Eric kept lying to me and saying he could see the car. I kept showing him the beauty of my middle finger and telling him I was going to trip him should Chainsaw start chasing us.
By the time I made it back to the car, I could only manage a very blurry shot of my red, grumpy face. But look how sharply focused the trash in the background is. Isn't it lovely? I think it adds a bit of class to the joint.
I can say that if it hadn't been for this guy going with me, I would have never braved walking down that very forlorn trail by myself.
There's no one that I'd rather have as my sidekick on an adventure.
Just so you know, I informed my editor that the next time he sent me to take pictures, I was going to punch him in the wiener before I went. Just in case.